you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Randomize
