so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
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