its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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