I like to think it a success when the cops are called
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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