this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
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