idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
