Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
