You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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