like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
