Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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