I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
