I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
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