Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
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