this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Blood and glitter go together right?
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
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Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.