I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
