update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Randomize
