Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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