Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
