We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Ambien. No doubt about it.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize