Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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