Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize