Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Randomize
