Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
