bring money and cleavage
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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