How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
