I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Randomize
