these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
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