He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Randomize
