Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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