don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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