its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
