what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
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