OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Randomize
