"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
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