I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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