Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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