every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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