Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Randomize
