Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize