i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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