she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
