Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I will be naked everywhere
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize