somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
