I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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