Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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