I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Randomize
