this beer tastes like vomit already
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
