You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize
