If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I can't trust your balls anymore.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
