I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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