Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Randomize
