i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
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