Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Dear god my vagina.
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