wanna go halves on a baby?
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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