I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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