so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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