i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize