You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Watching her eat just hurts me
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Randomize
