At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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