No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
