Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
They left me at home... I'm a liability
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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