You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Randomize
