First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Randomize