i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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