Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Randomize
