How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
you had me at cake vodka
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Randomize