I like to think it a success when the cops are called
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
